A New Man

Self therapy example

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New Man
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3 min read

I found an interesting instagram post which is a conversation between two people who are actually the same person talking to himself:

  • Having a bad childhood can have its benefits as an adult

  • Okay! I am intrigued, enlighten me

  • I am funny, I know how to dodge a punch

  • wow!

  • I am there for everyone

  • That’s people pleasing

  • I have to clean the house before I can relax, so the house is clean

  • Because relaxing before cleaning used to equal to punishment

  • I am a perfectionist

  • You link doing well to validation, and you link validation to love

  • I am super independent

  • You mean you have trouble asking for help

  • I can read people really well

  • Hypervigilance is a trauma response, not a badge of honour

  • I am always prepared for the worst

  • That’s called anxiety

  • I am really good at fixing things

  • and by thing you mean people, right?

  • I am extremely productive

  • That’s overcompensation for feeling unworthy of rest

  • Did I say I am funny?

  • Making people laugh is easier than explaining how you really feel

  • You really couldn’t let me have one of those things huh?

I asked ChatGPT about it:

This Instagram post is a reflective exploration of the effects of a difficult childhood on someone's adult personality and behaviors. It juxtaposes seemingly positive traits with their potential roots in unresolved trauma, emphasizing the complexity of personal development. Here's what it tells you and what you can learn from it:

What It Tells You

  1. Duality of Traits: Traits often seen as strengths (e.g., independence, productivity, humor) may have been shaped by coping mechanisms developed in response to adverse experiences.

  2. Trauma's Influence: The post highlights how trauma can mold behavior in subtle and profound ways, often disguising survival mechanisms as personality traits.

  3. Self-Awareness and Healing: The conversation demonstrates the importance of examining the "why" behind our behaviors to achieve a deeper understanding of ourselves.

What You Can Learn

  1. The Power of Introspection: Reflecting on your behaviors and their origins can help uncover underlying beliefs and emotional wounds that influence your actions.

  2. Reframing Strengths and Weaknesses: While certain traits may have been helpful in the past, they may no longer serve you in the same way and could even hinder your growth or well-being.

  3. Balance and Self-Compassion: It's important to balance pride in your resilience with self-compassion for the struggles that shaped it. This includes learning to embrace vulnerability, ask for help, and redefine rest and relaxation as necessary, not indulgent.

  4. The Need for Healing: Recognizing trauma's impact is the first step toward healing. Therapy, self-help, or supportive relationships can help transform survival mechanisms into healthier patterns.

Ultimately, this conversation invites you to reconsider how you view yourself, not as a collection of traits but as someone shaped by experiences—and capable of growth beyond them.