I wasn’t well today. I woke up at 2am, and then again at 4am. Went down and ate breakfast. I didn’t feel good. The breakfast was fine though. Sesame paste plus honey and bread.
I went to sleep about 7am after a lot of procrastination of using phone. I woke up at 10:30am and I felt good. I woke up really fresh.
I went out and came to Starbucks and drank a coffee and muffin, but still I felt like I have nothing to do. What am I doing here on a weekend having no plan and what to do.
Until I finished my drink and wanted to go out, and someone wanted to take my place which I said happily that “Sure, why not.“. Before going out of Starbucks, I was thinking why not go to their other room and sit and open laptop and write something.
I did, and when I was looking for a place in the other room, saw a smile from a woman who was trying to say that the place near her was for another person who left for the toilets but she hasn’t said if she is coming back, so I could sit there. Whilst I was reading her lips, as I had headphone into my ears although I wasn’t listening, I told here with smile again that, that’s fine, and I looked at another place which was empty and told her that I will sit there, so thanked her by giving a smile.
It was this time that I felt good, and wanted to open my laptop to just write about this. I don’t know but I really liked to listen to Homayoun right now, oh it’s a pleasant feeling now.
I feel free whilst my todo list is not very long every day. I should ask my therapist on how to fill that. I am sure she will say socialising the the important one, but how do I find a safe person at this special moment before my divorce finalisation.
Anyway, I don’t want to finish this writing as it feels very good. I am glad I started writing about it. It’s like living the moment.